I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
