My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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