false alarm. still invincible.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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