I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
