i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
