I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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