Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
