You just made me feel so damn special
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
