He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
