so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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