dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
