It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
