Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
