I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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