this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
