We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The uberlube is also flammable
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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