I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
