Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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