I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
