I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
