I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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