hotel room ftw
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
