And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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