i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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