grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
