I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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