i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
