So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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