As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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