Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
