WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
