break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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