Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
