I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
