yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
