Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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