So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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