just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
