You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
