here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
