Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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