He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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