I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
