that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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