Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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