U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
