my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
