It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
