I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
