You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
