I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
