Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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